Well, I guess it'll be hit and miss for this blog.
Anyway, so on Saturday I got back from Young Women's camp. I had a BLAST!! It was really fun, and even now, I still feel supported by the girls in my group. On Friday, I finally did the trust fall, even though I wasn't all the way to the top. Throughout the week, I had seen girls who were a lot more afraid of doing the trust fall than I was, fall. But I was still scared. So finally on Friday, I decided if I wanted to do it, it had to be then, since this was my last year at camp. I was scared from the moment I started to fall, to the moment my catchers caught me.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
July 18, 2013
I know it's been awhile since the last time I posted something, but now I'm back.
I don't know, I just don't wanna care about anyone anymore. I think I've been hurt too many times by my family. Like on Sunday. We were planning basicly our lives for the next few months ("because it needed to be done"). Anyway, we were talking about driving to Utah for Labor day weekend, and I said something (I think it was I don't care), don't remember what it was, but then my dad said "We can drag you along behind the car." what the heck!?!? I got upset, because that's just downright mean and NOT okay, and I told dad "well that shows how much you value me." And then he said that wasn't true. Well then, if it wasn't true, WHY did he say that?
Later on my mom started telling me to turn hurtful things people say into complements so it will surprize them. So I asked her how do I turn what dad said into a complement. I mean, seriously, how??? Because currently, I can't think of any.
Then on Monday i think (sometime this week), my family did a whole bunch of things that slighted me. I guess it's pretty much everyone for themselves in our house. The lame thing about that is my sisters and my dad have a tendency to gang up on me. I hate my family because of how I'm treated. Or maybe I should say "family". Because there is NO WAY ON EARTH that we are a family. Families don't hurt each other.
Anyway, I think I might be finally shutting down. I tried to shut down once before, but without realizing it, Jeremy stopped me. :) I don't know what's going on now though, because when I was depressed, I still could think of Jeremy and my friends and feel a little better. So maybe that's what's happening. I just feel so sad, and I don't want to loose them, but I'm terribly afraid I might. Especially Jeremy.
I thought about that the other day, and I realized I need him just as much as he probably needs me- I probably need him more though. *sigh* I don't know.
Oh and I'm really sorry Jeremy if you, or any of our friends or family read this. (I have a feeling I'm going to be embarrassed later on.)
Oh also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Lilly!!
I don't know, I just don't wanna care about anyone anymore. I think I've been hurt too many times by my family. Like on Sunday. We were planning basicly our lives for the next few months ("because it needed to be done"). Anyway, we were talking about driving to Utah for Labor day weekend, and I said something (I think it was I don't care), don't remember what it was, but then my dad said "We can drag you along behind the car." what the heck!?!? I got upset, because that's just downright mean and NOT okay, and I told dad "well that shows how much you value me." And then he said that wasn't true. Well then, if it wasn't true, WHY did he say that?
Later on my mom started telling me to turn hurtful things people say into complements so it will surprize them. So I asked her how do I turn what dad said into a complement. I mean, seriously, how??? Because currently, I can't think of any.
Then on Monday i think (sometime this week), my family did a whole bunch of things that slighted me. I guess it's pretty much everyone for themselves in our house. The lame thing about that is my sisters and my dad have a tendency to gang up on me. I hate my family because of how I'm treated. Or maybe I should say "family". Because there is NO WAY ON EARTH that we are a family. Families don't hurt each other.
Anyway, I think I might be finally shutting down. I tried to shut down once before, but without realizing it, Jeremy stopped me. :) I don't know what's going on now though, because when I was depressed, I still could think of Jeremy and my friends and feel a little better. So maybe that's what's happening. I just feel so sad, and I don't want to loose them, but I'm terribly afraid I might. Especially Jeremy.
I thought about that the other day, and I realized I need him just as much as he probably needs me- I probably need him more though. *sigh* I don't know.
Oh and I'm really sorry Jeremy if you, or any of our friends or family read this. (I have a feeling I'm going to be embarrassed later on.)
Oh also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Lilly!!
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