(I forgot to post this sooner)
I fell asleep with the light on last night. When I woke up (around 10:30ish), I saw that my hands were swollen. My right hand was more swollen than my left hand, but they were both difficult to move, actually, my whole body was difficult to move. I tried to crack my back and fingers to see if I could get them to move a little more, and to get the swelling to go down. If it worked, it was barely noticeable. As I started to change into my pajamas, I realized my feet were also swollen. I lay on my back w/ my feet and arms under me to try to stretch out my back and get some blood flowing to my feet. It did help; the swelling went down on my feet a bit. I realized my whole body, esp. my right side, was swollen. I couldn't really do anything about it, so I finished changing into my pj's, said my prayer, and turned off my light (about 11).
I'm not sure if I was dreaming, or if this really happened, but in the very short time that I was asleep, I felt someone standing by the corner of my bed pull my blankets. I immedeatly woke up, and looked at the clock (it was like 11:39). Then, calling upon the name of Jesus, I commanded them to leave. Once I felt the evil presence leave, I fell back asleep.
I heard a voice in my mind clearly say "In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I command you to leave." I woke up, and tried to say what I had heard in my mind, but I couldn't speak. There was a darkness in my room, and it wasn't because my light was off. I felt a weight on me, but not on my skin. It was as if the darkness, or whoever was in my room was weighing me down. I tried again to say what had so clearly come to my mind. "In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I command you to leave" I told the spirit. Feeling it trying to stay, I said something like "I do not want you here. If you are trapped, you need to cross over. And if you are not, then I really don't want you here. In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave." I said that in the same voice I had spoken in before. I felt whoever it was immedeatly leave.
It wasn't that I felt unsafe in my room, but I told myself, in the same voice I had used before, that whoever it was would be back, and I knew that was true; it wasn't my imagenation playing tricks on me. I thought about going into my mom's room, but I decided against it because it wouldn't be good for my swollen body. I knew I couldn't stay in my room, so the only other option was the couch.
I got up, prayed for protection, turned on my light, and gathered my clothes for the next day. I also took a couple of blankets and my pillow downstairs. I went back upstairs and told Mom what happened.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
(still under construction)
Have you ever had something so wonderful happen, that you wondered if it really happened?
Have you ever had something so wonderful happen, that you wondered if it really happened?
Lol. That sounds like I got my first kiss. No, I'm still waiting for that; I was actually talking about Jeremy giving me something that means so much to me, and I'm so amazed that I'm slightly wondering (and hopeful), if he really meant it.
So last Saturday (May 4), I was able to go hang out w/ Jeremy and his family. I had to get some late work done first. after I did, my parents wouldn't give me a specific answer on when I could go- or even if I could go. They said they needed more information; my sisters wanted to go to a concert, and they had barely given them any information on it. I know that's what my parents needed, but it really felt like they were yanking my chain. It hurt really bad- although I do get to see my friends, I don't get to see them as often as I'd like, and it had been awhile since I hung out w/ Jeremy and his family. Oh I was so angry and hurt!! Finally, they gave me a definite answer.
*****
Mom let me drive, and I was so excited and happy. : )
Jeremy invited a bunch of our friends over to play D&D. He said he thought I'd want to see everyone.
Jeremy invited a bunch of our friends over to play D&D. He said he thought I'd want to see everyone.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Lamp Post
I can't believe I haven't posted this!!!!
These are some images I created, this year, before school while I was taking Graphic Design.    |
| Is this foggy enough? Probably not. Anyway, this is version four of my lamp post. |
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Ever done something that was scary, but afterward you felt so proud of yourself for doing the right thing? Well, that happened to me on Tuesday. In Spanish 2, a girl named Makiah came and sat over by her friends, which was in the same row as me. She was talking to them, and all of the sudden she said to them, "You little" and then she said the "C" word. And she said that jokingly. Joking or not, that's not okay. And so I told her not to say that. She got this sweet, soft, condensending tone and said "I'm 17, I can say whatever I want," and then she said something about "freedom of speech". "That's not what that means," I said in a calm voice. Then she said something, and I told her that maybe she should take a Government class. She said something else, and I said, "it's not my fault you have an attitude problem," still calm. Anyway, I did what was right, and after class, I told the teacher.
So last night, I had a dream that she totally bullied me, and there was nothing anyone could do. First she called me the evil nickname I had in 6th grade when I was bullied. I stood up, threw my pencil and said in a loud, warning voice, "Don't EVER call me that again". When the teacher took us out in the hall, she pinched me so hard I bled, and then it scared.
So last night, I had a dream that she totally bullied me, and there was nothing anyone could do. First she called me the evil nickname I had in 6th grade when I was bullied. I stood up, threw my pencil and said in a loud, warning voice, "Don't EVER call me that again". When the teacher took us out in the hall, she pinched me so hard I bled, and then it scared.
Monday, April 29, 2013
April 22, Monday
K, so that guy I told you about that was really creeping me out? He's actually ok when he doesn't keep touching me. I wasn't able to tell him to stop or I'd report him; however, the situation did sort itself out. Probably largely due to the fact that last week we learned about abuse, sexual abuse, and unhealthy relationships in health 2- not that we have a relationship. Anyway, I think he figured out that he was supposed to stop.
This has been a very full weekend for me. : )
Wednesday- I felt so alone and sad for some reason, even though my family was around. I texted Emily and asked her if I could talk to her for awhile, because I was sad and I didn't know why. A few minutes later, she called. It surprized me that she called instead of texted, but it felt a lot better than if she texted, and it helped a lot more too. It was so nice to know that I have someone, even though we don't live in the same city, that would take time out of their day, and out of their busy life, to talk to me. Immedeatly I felt better when I heard her voice. : ) Also, when we talked, we found out that the day before we had both fallen asleep in Math class, and we both had it at the same time. There was a slight awkward pause, and then she's like "Hello soulmate! Wait...You're a girl." lol I laughed and was like "that's okay. I know what you mean." Then I let her get back to her homework- she has a 10 page project to do!! (And that's not an exaggeration.)
Friday- I went to the library after school. I signed in to grooveshark, but there was no sound on the computer, and no way to turn it on. : (
Anyway, I ended up talking to Jeremy through facebook. I don't remember what we talked about, or what else I did. Oh yah. I told him that on the bus I wished I was at his house playing Minecraft. And then I told him if I wasn't doing anything w/ Heather or my family over Memorial Day weekend, that we might be able to hang out (as long as he's not doing anything w/ his family either). Once I switched computers to one that had sound, I asked him a question that I'd been wondering about since last week.I didn't get a specific answer, but the answer still made me happy and excited. And guess what? I still am. :)
So on Saturday we went to the zoo. I remember when I was in first grade, I hated going to the zoo, because I hated seeing the animals caged up and trapped. I felt sorry for them, and I think I felt how they felt. I hated going to the zoo because it felt sad and depressing.
This time though, it was a much more pleasant experience, even though I still felt sad for them. No one should be trapped, and in a cage. We saw a lot more animals this time than we did the last couple of times; we also got to see the flamingos they just put in. And we also saw the baby river otter and baby elephant! ^_^ They were so cute!! :D
It was an okay family activity.
This has been a very full weekend for me. : )
Wednesday- I felt so alone and sad for some reason, even though my family was around. I texted Emily and asked her if I could talk to her for awhile, because I was sad and I didn't know why. A few minutes later, she called. It surprized me that she called instead of texted, but it felt a lot better than if she texted, and it helped a lot more too. It was so nice to know that I have someone, even though we don't live in the same city, that would take time out of their day, and out of their busy life, to talk to me. Immedeatly I felt better when I heard her voice. : ) Also, when we talked, we found out that the day before we had both fallen asleep in Math class, and we both had it at the same time. There was a slight awkward pause, and then she's like "Hello soulmate! Wait...You're a girl." lol I laughed and was like "that's okay. I know what you mean." Then I let her get back to her homework- she has a 10 page project to do!! (And that's not an exaggeration.)
Friday- I went to the library after school. I signed in to grooveshark, but there was no sound on the computer, and no way to turn it on. : (
Anyway, I ended up talking to Jeremy through facebook. I don't remember what we talked about, or what else I did. Oh yah. I told him that on the bus I wished I was at his house playing Minecraft. And then I told him if I wasn't doing anything w/ Heather or my family over Memorial Day weekend, that we might be able to hang out (as long as he's not doing anything w/ his family either). Once I switched computers to one that had sound, I asked him a question that I'd been wondering about since last week.I didn't get a specific answer, but the answer still made me happy and excited. And guess what? I still am. :)
So on Saturday we went to the zoo. I remember when I was in first grade, I hated going to the zoo, because I hated seeing the animals caged up and trapped. I felt sorry for them, and I think I felt how they felt. I hated going to the zoo because it felt sad and depressing.
This time though, it was a much more pleasant experience, even though I still felt sad for them. No one should be trapped, and in a cage. We saw a lot more animals this time than we did the last couple of times; we also got to see the flamingos they just put in. And we also saw the baby river otter and baby elephant! ^_^ They were so cute!! :D
It was an okay family activity.
What's wrong with our society- Sexual Violence Unit in Health
I will never understand the way that society is. We just watched a video on how media influences behavior including sexual violence. Many of the ads the lady put up were very offensive to me, and yet, society accepts them and even deems them as normal. They're ads. Because the topic was on how media sexualizes women, most of the pictures were of scantily clad women, most of them in underwear or naked (w/ their parts covered up "of course!"). Many of them were also showing off their busts or their "hiney". It was very disgusting and disturbing to me. What upset me more, is that everyone seems to be ok with it because it's EVERYWHERE!!!
Not only that, but the ads were very sexist, and even racist. The only time a woman was pictured taller or higher tan a man was if race was involved. The ads with the women covering their mouths, or worse, their mouths sewed shut, portray the sickness in our society for women to "shut up". The Latina and African American women were portrayed worse. The speaker pointed out that in ads, the non-white women were portrayed wearing animal skins, or with animal features photoshoped in, saying that the ads are saying they're only animals. The speaker also said something about one company, (I think it was Calvin Kline) and because of how young the models they used were, and how they sexually made them pose, their ads were almost like child porn!
And yet this is widely accepted as the norm. When did our society become so involved in, and revolved around, degrading humans? Our brothers and sisters? Our family, our friends? Our neighbors? Why do we think it's okay to dehumanize??? (The ironic thing is, the more you try to dehumanize someone else, the more you are really degrading and dehumanizing yourself.) This behavior, and attitude, I've noticed, is common throughout America, and perhaps throughout the world in it's entirety. Americans think they're the best, they're number 1, they're above everyone else (and when I say 'Americans', I mean mainly white-born-in-America Americans). Many, not all Americans have adopted this sick attitude, just because they were born with privelage.
Not only that, but the ads were very sexist, and even racist. The only time a woman was pictured taller or higher tan a man was if race was involved. The ads with the women covering their mouths, or worse, their mouths sewed shut, portray the sickness in our society for women to "shut up". The Latina and African American women were portrayed worse. The speaker pointed out that in ads, the non-white women were portrayed wearing animal skins, or with animal features photoshoped in, saying that the ads are saying they're only animals. The speaker also said something about one company, (I think it was Calvin Kline) and because of how young the models they used were, and how they sexually made them pose, their ads were almost like child porn!
And yet this is widely accepted as the norm. When did our society become so involved in, and revolved around, degrading humans? Our brothers and sisters? Our family, our friends? Our neighbors? Why do we think it's okay to dehumanize??? (The ironic thing is, the more you try to dehumanize someone else, the more you are really degrading and dehumanizing yourself.) This behavior, and attitude, I've noticed, is common throughout America, and perhaps throughout the world in it's entirety. Americans think they're the best, they're number 1, they're above everyone else (and when I say 'Americans', I mean mainly white-born-in-America Americans). Many, not all Americans have adopted this sick attitude, just because they were born with privelage.
 |
| (I guess according to this picture, we are #1. Just not what we wanted.) |
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
April 16, 2013
K, I know it's been awhile since I've posted on this blog. Anyway, I have a couple things so far for today.
1) When my mom was driving me to Seminary this morning, she turned on the heater, but she was surprised when she realized it was set full blast to the AC. Lol her reaction was halarious!!
2) I set my backpack (I mean my sister's old backpack) on the ground....well, I was swinging it off like I usually do, and the strap broke! The strap on the side that wasn't ripping. Now I'll have to carry it today in my arms.
3) I wasn't sure at first if I would include this, but now I;m going to. I have a classmate who
a) is a pervert (he out right told me)
b) won't stop patting my head or hugging me, even though I've told him not to
and c) likes me (i can tell because of how he acts)
He thoroughly creeps me out, and I'm going to tell him today that I don't want him touching me anymore or I'll report him. Unfortunately, I don't know if that will stop him. Can you get a restraining order for someone who rides your bus??
Well, I better go do some of my homework, although I don't know how much I'll get done because school starts in about 10 minutes. I've just been so tired lately. I think I've finally caught up on my sleep from the Prom last Saturday (Emily and I didn't get back until 1AM).
1) When my mom was driving me to Seminary this morning, she turned on the heater, but she was surprised when she realized it was set full blast to the AC. Lol her reaction was halarious!!
2) I set my backpack (I mean my sister's old backpack) on the ground....well, I was swinging it off like I usually do, and the strap broke! The strap on the side that wasn't ripping. Now I'll have to carry it today in my arms.
3) I wasn't sure at first if I would include this, but now I;m going to. I have a classmate who
a) is a pervert (he out right told me)
b) won't stop patting my head or hugging me, even though I've told him not to
and c) likes me (i can tell because of how he acts)
He thoroughly creeps me out, and I'm going to tell him today that I don't want him touching me anymore or I'll report him. Unfortunately, I don't know if that will stop him. Can you get a restraining order for someone who rides your bus??
Well, I better go do some of my homework, although I don't know how much I'll get done because school starts in about 10 minutes. I've just been so tired lately. I think I've finally caught up on my sleep from the Prom last Saturday (Emily and I didn't get back until 1AM).
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